34 Weeks and 3 Days
Well, it has only been 2 weeks since I last wrote but I figured I would write again. Brandon and I only have one birthing class left and it’s focus will be on breastfeeding. I enjoyed the tour of the hospital, but was dissapointed to find that the labor and delivery rooms are a thousand times cooler then the post partum rooms. But, what can you expect? They want you comfortable during the hard stuff and just semi-comfortable afterwards.
The last week and a half or so have been interesting. On the 27th of December I was feeling a lot of pressure in the lower part of my pelvis and the baby seemed to be somewhat lower in my tummy. It isn’t incredibly noticeable but both Brandon and I could tell. Since then I have just been feeling somewhat out of sorts, very tired all the time, everything takes even more exertion then ever before, and my tummy has been hardening a lot more. This past Sunday the 6th I was sitting at church and felt the baby move right near my pelvis. It was the strangest and not exactly comfortable feeling in the world. As the day wore on I was feeling mild cramping and lower back pain, which I have felt off and on since. My next prenatal appointment is Thursday, but I think my body is definitely preparing itself for Aiden’s arrival, whenever it may be.
Which brings me to my next thought, I have no real way of knowing how big Aiden truly is right now. I have no way to know if he is measuring bigger because of his position, extra fat on my stomach, or because he really is bigger. The doctor was saying that hopefully nature will kick in the end of January. I would just like everyone to know that I am ok with Aiden coming whenever he wants to between week 36 and his due date. I will not be dissapointed if he doesn’t come early. I just pray with all my heart that I am able to birth him vaginally because I am absolutely terrified of c-section. My dad’s family thinks that I will have a large baby because my grandma and all of her daughters had huge babies. But, I tend to disagree since my dad (her son) happened to have exactly average sized babies with my mom (I was 7 lbs. 7 oz.). Brandon was 8 lbs. 15 oz. but he was also 8 days late, which added at very least an extra 1/2 lb. to his weight. So there you go.
I have also been experiencing a mix of emotions, which I am sure is normal. Some times I am excited and look forward to all of the firsts, plus all of the innately baby things (like tiny toes, baby powder, baby expressions, baby cuddles, etc.). Other times, I lament the loss of the era of newly wedness that we have shared over the past 2 years and 5 months, the times of being at one with your spouse, a duo, a team, and I only hope that what the future holds is even better then all of that. I hope that I didn’t take our solo time for granted and have cherished every moment that he and I have been able to share due to the loss of his job in Nov. (Although it is about time that something pan out so he and I can pay our January and February bills.) Still other moments, I worry about my abilities as a mom, and about whether Brandon and I will have the monetary means to provide little Aiden with everything that he needs. I worry that I won’t remember the brilliant tricks and ideas that I have picked up through working at daycares, watching other moms, and from my own mom. Sometimes, I forget that I have a whole support system of my spouse, family and friends behind me to help my raise my little one (and future little ones) and worry about my own ability to relate to a little boy. Which is just silly.
Anyway, we are getting prepared for whenever he may come. There are still a few things that we need but Aiden will at least have a car seat to come home in, a place to sleep, and things to wear. Brandon and I both love this little guy so much already. We both find joy in feeling him move around and knowing that he is a live and well. Wish us luck and pray that Aiden will come to earth via the birth canal. Love you all.