The Wilhelmsen Botanical Blog

And I am home from the hospital.  I had forgotten how very little sleep you get at the hospital.  Why don’t all of those nurses, doctors, and lab people come in at the same time, which ought to be when you are up to nurse, rather then when you have just finally fallen asleep.  Anyway we will get back to all of that in a little bit.

Monday and Tuesday were, on the whole, rather uneventful.  In fact, I can’t really remember them at all except perhaps that there was the need to finish last minute preparations for Lucas to arrive.  Wednesday went pretty well but around 5:00 in the afternoon I thought that maybe I was leaking amniotic fluid.  I put on a pad and when Brandon got home from work we went up to St. Mark’s to be tested.  The results came back that there was no amniotic fluid but I was dialated to a 4, at a -1 station, and still 75% effaced.  The nurse said that she would be surprised if I made it all the way to my induction date of Saturday.

Thursday night I slept poorly, waking every 2 hours and finally at 4:30 I got up to time contractions.  From 4:40 to 6:00 they were every 5 mins. so I called L & D at St. Mark’s and made plans to go in when Aiden woke up.  Unfortunately after that they died off and because I was emotional Brandon had to  make the hard decision of leaving me to go into work.  After waking at 4:30 and then adding the disappointment of not really being in labor I just did not know how I would get through an 11 hour day without Brandon.  Thankfully my mom came over and we decided to go to the mall and see if I could get contractions started by walking around.  While we were at the mall Aiden saw the Easter Bunny (whom he actually liked and shook his hand and hugged), got some chocolate at See’s (I asked Aiden if he wanted chocolate before we got out of the car and from the time we got out until we got the chocolate he kept saying, “I need the chocolate.”), and ate lunch in the food court.  Aiden liked being out and about and while walking did nothing, being able to get out and be distracted really lifted my spirits.  We all kept praying that my water would break but it never did.  Incidentally, Thursday night was the best I had slept in a few weeks and I knew the last really awesome night of sleep I would have for awhile.

Friday I came to terms with the fact that I likely was going to be induced and we got out and ran errands and we had a good day.  I wasn’t overly cautious because I still hoped that nature would kick in on it’s own but I didn’t go and do anything crazy either.  We picked up some gardening stuff (seeds, seedling dirt, fencing, a topsy turvey for tomatoes, and the little seed starter containers), went to eat at Chili’s, picked up our family photos from Target and in the evening after we made chicken rolls we went swimming at Holiday Lions Fitness and Rec.  That was awesome because we got there at 5:00ish and because the pool was closing in a mere 60-90 mins. They let us in free (saving us $12.00).  It was a great pool.  Aiden loved the water play area and spent most of the time pulling on the levers, which in turn made the water go on and off.  It was also an emotional day because I knew that it was my last time rocking  Aiden to sleep for nap and bed and hanging out with Aiden without having to worry about another’s needs as well.  Change and the unknown has always been really hard for me.

Saturday was THE big day.  I did not sleep well at all Friday partly because I was nervous and partly because I had the Abby’s flying fairy school song from Sesame Street stuck in my head.  It is a bouncy song, not exactly conducive to relaxing and calming.  I woke up at 4:30 again and was unable to get back to sleep.  I called the hospital at 6:00 a.m. and they asked us to be there at 7:00 to check in.  My mom arrived shortly after that so that Aiden wasn’t home alone (and to deliver him to my aunt when he woke up) and away we went.  We were all settled in very quickly and then we waited, and waited.  From what I surmised there were no direct orders about how to proceed from the doc.  As such pitocin wasn’t started until 9:00.  We then waited around for the doc. to come and break my water which happened at about 10:45.  It is important to note that when I arrived at the hospital I was still 4 cm. 75% effaced and a -1 station.  Things seemed to be progressing very slowly.  I did ok handling contractions ( I was only really feeling every third one or so and could “walk it off” until I got to transition stage and then the contractions got almost immediately worse.  I asked for some fentanyl to take the edge off.  It never really did but Brandon said that perhaps the contractions got a lot more painful at that point and took off some of the extra pain.  I did not like the fentanyl.  It made me feel fuzzy/loopy and I just wanted to go to sleep.  When I hit the intense phase of labor, I knew it was too late for an epidural and despite my intense fear of a c-section I found myself very nearly asking for one.  (That ought to accurately express just how much pain I was in.)  I got to the point where I was finally at like a 9/9.5 cm. but there was just a little rim of cervix in the way.  It was at this point that I started to feel an urge to push (I thought but couldn’t really tell because of the pain) and I also just wanted to crawl out of my skin.  Pushing did seem to ease the contraction pain though so push I did, until Lucas started crowning and the nurse started yelling (I think) “Small little pushes, not so fast.” and then I lost my groove, I was in pain and I just started saying, just get him out.  The doc. mentioned that if he did an episiotomy he would come right out and I said do it then, but the nurse piped up with something about me being sure and you can do it on your own.  I don’t even think I was really pushing anymore at this point.  I said again, “Just give me the episiotomy and get him out.”  Thankfully the doc did what I asked, (He later said I would have torn at that point anyway) told me I could stop pushing (I don’t even know if I was anymore anyway) and eased Lucas out (the shoulders were a bit intense again for just a moment).  They then put Lucas on my toweled chest and roughed him up there.  I immediately asked for my cookie (LOL, inside joke from last time) and we got around to ordering some Subway for my mom to pick up for us.

Here are a few things I should also mention…my nurse and I had a personality clash, by the time I realized this I would have felt insanely bad for sending for a new one.  She had a very hands on approach and yet didn’t coach very well.  She also hovered.  When I got to where I was feeling the pain all I wanted was for everyone to clear out of the room so that I could try and and cope with my mom and hubby by my side.  In fact at one point the charge nurse came in, she gave me a few ideas with how to try and cope with the pain and also got me a wet wash cloth.  I felt that I had gotten more help from her in 5 mins. then I’d had from my nurse all day and she did it all without invading my privacy or personal space.  My nurse asked if I wanted her to rub my legs, feet, or back and I told her no but she ended up rubbing my leg once or twice anyway.  She also was just hovering and kept asking if I needed anything and I finally said, “We will let you know if we need anything.”  She left then but was back soon after just watching me while I tried to cope with my pain.  Afterwards, she asked if I wanted a shower (which I declined) and then when I went in to go to the bathroom two other nurses were hovering and I shooed them away and then she came into the room (not the bathroom) and just as I was finally relaxing enough to go she yelled, “Is everything ok in there?”  GOOD GRIEF!  I decided not to even bother trying anymore at that time and then she came in to help clean me up without even asking.  Hello, I declined my shower, when I was ready to get a bit cleaned up I would have either asked for help OR had someone tell my husband how to do it.  I was then rushed out of my labor and delivery room and upstairs to the surprise of my mom and Brandon.  I would have liked to have overseen some of the picking up of the room and even had a moment to look around myself (from the bed or wheelchair) to make sure we had gotten everything.

Ok, just a couple of things.  It was my intent to labor without pain meds.  I fully planned to spend a big chunk of my laboring in the jacuzzi tub that is in some of the rooms.  I did not know however that when you are on pitocin the baby MUST be monitored during the ENTIRETY or labor and delivery.  That would have been good to know.  Had I known I may have made a different decision.  I also should have done more research on how to cope.  I was relying solely on the lamaze I had learned as well as the positions for coping that were in my birthing book.  I should have looked for a doula or birth coach, learned some hypnobirthing techniques, and gone without the fentanyl because at that point I had to stay in the bed.

Once Lucas was born I fully felt like I had failed miserably in what I thought was going to be a quick, fairly easy to cope with the pain, kind of labor.  Despite my feeling like a failure, the nurses, my mom, and my husband all told me how wonderful I did and that I had indeed achieved my goal and was a success.  They told me that I has done amazing (to which I was thinking how is giving up and asking for the episiotomy amazing? How was wanting to crawl out of my skin amazing?).  Anyway, the whole thing was just very traumatic and I am still trying to wrap my mind around things.  It wasn’t until today when I learned that pitocin contractions are generally by far more painful then regular that I realized maybe I had done something worthy of the praise I received.  At this point I do not know what will happen next time around.  As much as I despised the ol’ catheter the first time around I was certainly much calmer and able to read the need to push more accurately and push more effectively.  I know for sure that if I ever opt to induce again then an epidural will go hand in hand with it.  I do still hope to go try going into labor on my own at some point.  I have just been too nervous too because I would get to measuring big and the possibility of c-section with each additional ounce the baby put on would grow.  We will see what I feel like when the time comes but for now, I am not even going to think about it because if I do then I would tell you we aren’t even going to start trying again until sometime in the next millenia.  ;p  I know one thing is for sure, I do intend on having the next labor and delivery be more the beautiful experience that I feel it should be (more like my first and less like my second, with as little medication as possible) and between now and that unforeseen date I plan to do a LOT of research.  Well, Aiden is awake and the baby needs to eat again soon so without further ado, my 2nd born Lucas Alexander Wilhelmsen (pictured below with various family members).  Thank you to EVERYONE who kept Aiden company and entertained while Brandon and I were “out of commission”.