The Wilhelmsen Botanical Blog

Tonight I was preparing Aiden for bed. As he sat on the toilet he looked down, and pointing, told me, “I have an owie on my chest.” I told him that, no, it is not an owie, and I gave him the proper term. He nodded and whispered, “Nipple…”, just to test how it felt on his tongue. Then, pinching first on the right side of his chest and then the left Aiden proudly declared, “I have nipples!” Then a beat and he asked, “Daddy has nipples, too?” I confirmed the fact, and he was quite pleased with his new knowledge.

So it seems like just yesterday I was bringing Aiden home from the hospital and then I blinked and now I have a 2 year old and my second son is due in 5 weeks.  What will happen if I blink again?  Will I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 3rd one on the way?  Do you remember those long lazy summer days of childhood when time seemed to stretch on endlessly before you and every minute felt like an hour?  I remember my mom telling me that time speeds up as you get older and I never did believe her for a second.  But as I approach my 10 year (yes 10, isn’t that absolutely nuts?) high school reunion, look at my two year old who I feel like was just born yesterday, and anticipate the arrival of Lucas, I will tell you now that she is absolutely right and it scares me because the time I have with my children will be all too short and over all too soon (spoken from the view of a mom who is soon to be knee deep in diapers and laundry and the antics of two boys) and we absolutely must make the most of it and cherish each moment, and let our kids enjoy the long days of the future that lay before them even if some of those days they are nearly bored to tears (it will encourage creativity).  Because they will grow and each day will be so full of good memories that they won’t last nearly long enough and they will see their children transforming before their very eyes.

So the other day Aiden asked for a banana to eat and I gave it to him.  He took one or two bites and put it on the table.  After eating lunch he said, “Hi banana, how you today?”  Where do kids get these things?

So today while we were outside I wished that I’d had our video camera.  Aiden had found a  feather and it kept blowing around.  At one point it blew off my leg and he followed it with his hand outstretched to catch it.  It kept going higher and higher with him following it until finally it landed.  Ah, the simple joys of childhood.

So today after we strapped Aiden into his car seat at the end of our grocery trip he started making ridiculous requests like, “I want candy, I want some peanuts.”  (Except for his one raid into my father’s peanut m & m’s a few months back he has not ever had peanuts and will not until we are certain he is not allergic or 4 years old, whichever is sooner.)  Anyway, so I randomly asked him if I should open the brain.  He replied, “yes.”  Then started repeating, “I want some brain, I want some brain, brain, brain.” over and over.  I finally had to distract him by asking if he wanted some marshmallow’s when we got home because I was laughing hysterically, almost to the point where one would say they were laughing so hard that they were going to pee their pants.  It was only so hilarious to me because Brandon had me watch this movie recently and that same day before I saw the movie Brandon was chasing Aiden around pretending to be a zombie and saying, “Mmmm, brains”.  LOL!

Oi, I forgot to write about this…  The other day Brandon had some food frying in the skillet.  Next thing we know Aiden has scooted one of his toy buckets over to the stove, and is standing on it, food thermometer in hand about ready to “test” the temperature of the food.  Thankfully Brandon is quick due to his ninja skills and swooped over to save Aiden from himself.  😉

So today Aiden did a cute thing.  I was holding him on my lap when he stood up and put his hands on my head.  Once he had done so he said, “Amen.  Get a the mommy’s blessed.”  🙂  How cute is that?

I have expressed many times my desire to have a family of six kids, two of which I plan to adopt.  As I have expressed these desires I have had a variety of responses from support, to disbelief, and I sometimes wonder if people think I have lost my mind.  I have never been very good at verbally expressing my deep seeded opinions and thoughts but have had the good fortune recently to come across some things that express exactly how I feel in my heart about these very things.

First of all I will address the topic of adoption.  In January of 2008 just shortly before I gave birth to Aiden I found this quote in an article of the Ensign called, “Why Adoption?”  It helped to confirm that my desire to adopt a child was indeed a righteous one and confirmed what I have always known to be the right thing for me to do.  This quote was given as a statement by the first presidency in October of 2006.

“We … express our support of unwed parents who place their children for adoption in stable homes with a mother and a father. We also express our support of the married mothers and fathers who adopt these children.

“Children are entitled to the blessing of being reared in a stable family environment where father and mother honor marital vows. Having a secure, nurturing, and consistent relationship with both a father and a mother is essential to a child’s well-being. When choosing adoption, unwed parents grant their children this most important blessing. Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses the child, birth parents, and adoptive parents in this life and throughout the eternities. We commend all those who strengthen children and families by promoting adoption.”

Secondly the topic of a big family, I recently came across this blog and while I have zero intention of being a mother of eleven her thoughts on a big family still apply to my desire for being a mother of six.  This is what she had to say about big families…

The Big Family–A Lost Institution

Maybe because I grew up with just one brother (my other siblings were already grown), I always wanted a large family. I liked the way it felt in homes full of children. Once we got over the hump of 3 or 4, it actually got much easier. And today, as I experience the “law of the harvest” I am so grateful that I stayed the course. My life is brimming with loved ones.

Just a generation ago, large families were the norm. Most people I meet who are 50 or older grew up in a family of at least six. And they loved it! They eagerly talk about the happy home of their childhood–sleeping out under the stars, piling in the car to go to the movies, sharing a bedroom. They finish by saying that they only have two children of their own. I wonder why that is. What turned the tide of the big family? Was it the feminist movement that assured us that there was much more to life than diapers and mopping? Or was it the changing standard of living that made us believe that things were more valuable than people? I think it was a simple, subtle shift in thinking that more money and fewer children would produce quality instead of quantity. And little by little, we came to believe that the way we grew up–six kids in three bedrooms with an unfinished basement–wasn’t acceptable. I beg to differ.

All the things we want our children to be, just seem to happen naturally in a big family. They become undemanding and even grateful. They learn early to give and take. They ride together in the car and if one of their pant legs happen to touch one of their sibling’s pant legs, it’s okay. In fact they learn to lean on each other in every sense. Obviously, the budget is always stretched. Even so, everyone is excited about “another new baby”. Doesn’t it occur to them that now there’ll be less to go around . . . “less for me”? No. Because without ever having to say it, we teach them that people will always be the best part of life. And this baby is a friend forever.

I haven’t begun to mention the qualities fostered in a big family–self-motivation, creativity and resourcefulness for starters. Mom can’t be everywhere and if you need something urgently, you’d better figure it out. (No wonder Benjamin Franklin (one of 17) invented the wood stove, bifocals and discovered electricity. “Somebody better do it,” he probably thought.) There is security and self-esteem. Even when the girl at school says your pants are too baggy, your group of friends decides you’re out and the bus driver is a grouch, there’s always a friend at home–usually five or six.

And about college. How are all those kids going to go to college? So far, our oldest five children have put themselves through with only minimal help from us and no government aid. They’re making sure that the ones at home are keeping their grades up and working toward scholarships. We’ve never dealt with alcohol, drugs or premarital sex. The lessons we carefully taught our oldest children become magnified as they filter down through the family.

Feeding, clothing, driving and nurturing a large family is hard work for both Dad and me. But the greatest and most lasting lessons they’ve learned in our home, the ones that are the most deeply ingrained in their hearts, are the ones we didn’t have to teach at all. I can’t imagine how we could have. You can’t just say “be selfless” and expect it to happen. They need an environment that makes it essential.

On the night of Christmas this year, all the fun came to a sad halt when 11 year old Marielle discovered that her beloved dog, Josh, was seriously injured. The family kept vigil with her until he died. I slept next to her as she cried herself to sleep and felt inadequate to see her through this awful loss. I was unprepared the next morning, for the outpouring of love and support she received from her siblings. Natalie made her favorite breakfast. Mikelle took her for a walk. Andy made her a memory book about Josh. Dad and Nick dug a grave in the frozen ground. The whole family gathered for a funeral. Marielle was enveloped in a level of comfort and support that I could never have given alone.

I know this has been a long response but it’s a sad thing for me to watch the demise of the big family. We’ve lost something so wonderful. I can’t help but wish we could find it again.

Again it reaffirmed to me that a big family is a worthy goal and that my desires are indeed the path that I should be headed down.  It helped me to see that there will be added benefits for my children (along with added chaos) and that overall the pros far outweigh the cons.  Thank you to those people who can express the things that I have longed to express in eloquent ways so that I might use them to help people better understand where I am coming from.  Now I must be off to bed.  Goodnight!

So we were getting in the car after a brief trip to the DI and Aiden was saying, “Mommy to drive the car.”  So Brandon asked Aiden, “If mommy drives the car, then where should daddy sit?”  Without missing a beat Aiden said, “On time out.”  I busted up!

So up until now our little Aiden has been only telling us I love you when he “felt” like it and has been very selective, but this week he will say it nearly every time Brandon or I say it to him as well as when I tell him, “Tell grandma/grandpa/aunt Erica etc. that you love them.”  Last night was the absolute best though I turned around in the car told him I loved him and then he grinned the biggest grin he could and said, “I love you mom.”  These are the moments that make everything else worthwhile.  If your little one still isn’t saying much then you can eagerly look forward to the day that they tell you they love you.  It is THE BEST!

On a side note, I was singing the line from a song that goes, “I just called to say, I love you, I just called to say how much I care.” and Aiden chimes in singing, “I love you, I love you.”  He has started to sing more, mostly it is la, la, la’s or like last night bum, bum, bum’s but sometimes he will interject during songs if he knows the words.  I can tell he is singing because it is more musical sounding and different from his regular speech.  🙂